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Deserve vs. Earn

I don’t like to boast about the things that I have. I don’t like to boast and brag about things that I own. Nor do I like to, or try to (and I rarely do) about things that I buy. And I am a big spender…we are working on it.

This might sound like a sad country song about a girl and a truck. At least, it makes me both laugh and smile, and realize how grateful I am.

This is not a paid post but a simple thank you and promo for Cooper Tires. Shoutout to Cooper Tires for my ZEON XSTa tires for keeping me safe on the road and connecting me to my life.

After probably three months of driving around my truck, which is a very nice truck “luxury” truck, trashed and dirty “AF” (yep I said luxury and trash “AF” in one sentence…I cannot have nice things, no joke), I decided to spend $30.00 that I don’t have on a car wash. Mainly because it has been months. I drove to Vegas and back. Yes, I remember. San Diego and back. Yes, I remember that. Tucson and back, yes ,and I ran over a four legged creature too on that trip home too. I put on a solid 2,000+ miles and it was filthy. Several coffeess spilt. Dog hair and dirt everywhere. Paw prints on the seat. Dirt not the carpet. My hard work disrespected. By no one else, but myself. It had dog hair and dirt everywhere. I was embarrassed for anyone who had to get into it. Embarrassed for my “white stallion” if she had thoughts and feelings.

I left the dog park today with a soaking wet Siberian husky. Who also played in the mud. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I got a car wash instead of paying my student loan(s) this month. I live at an apartment home complex where we cannot wash vehicles in the carports nor is there anywhere that I can wash my car in the community. It is actually in our lease that we cannot work on vehicles, etc., in the parking lot spaces or under our carports. I am not asking for pity. And I don’t need another lecture on how I should spend my money or how I do. That is a work in progress. However, my truck does get the crap beat out of it and, yes, that is what trucks are for, but it needed some desperate TLC.

I was finally making okay money a few years ago when I bought my truck. I had jobs pouring in and had a somewhat “steady” income for an independent contractor in a variety of “fields”.

My old truck was 10 years old when I bought it for $7,500 on a loan. I moved to Arizona shortly after, the second time, in it. Looking back, I don’t know how it made it. Two years later, I moved to San Diego. One day when I was picking up my ex from work because his car broke down, here we are stranded in my broke down truck too. The front end blew out in it and I pulled over in tears, bawling, as I knew this wasn’t good. He didn’t understand. He doesn’t even change his own oil.

We were broke down and I was broke, and now we were being towed home. I didn’t have money for this. It was also emotional with the miles I driven. The memory of the day I purchased it. The day I paid it off. The fact that my Dad is a mechanic and almost 3,000 miles away. Yes, it was a hard day. $1,200.00 later on a “drain and fill”, I was back rolling. Two weeks later the rear-end blew out which cost me another $1,400.00. I didn’t have. And I wonder why I am debt (insert sarcasm). My champagne colored 2002 Cadillac EXT truck was junk. It wasn’t worth it to fix an AWD vehicle that had a salvage title and was a “P.O.S.” even though I was proud of it and the hard work I put in to get it, and that it was my first ever truck, it was done for. It was at the end of it’s road. My Caddy EXT truck had done it’s job. It moved me across the country several times. It was my first “new car” in my own name and no co-signer. It was going to cost me more than it was worth to get it fixed. I cried when I sold it.

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This 2002 Cadillac Escalade EXT was in rough shape but was the co-pilot to many miles and memories.

It was time for a newer vehicle. I found the truck I have now online. I watched it for two months on the website and it was still on the lot, so I called the dealership and drove in my “P.O.S.” to hopefully not be sent three hours back down the road in a truck that was on it’s last leg. I gripped the wheel the whole drive up there knowing the bandaid fix could blow at any moment. I knew I had to have that new truck. The Caddy was done for. They made me a deal on the phone before I hit the road that they would either send me home with a full tank for my time or get me on the road in something “new”.

It was everything I wanted. And it was almost brand new (23,000 miles on it). But, it was a huge purchase. And of course, a purchase I probably shouldn’t have made, since here I am now in debt and with a huge car payment that makes me want to throw up every month when I pay it. It stings a little. At least, I don’t drive much daily so I don’t have much of a gas expense.

I was also approved from a bank that should have never approved me. I don’t make enough money to afford this payment, they had to lie to he application about my income to get me approved, and I live in credit card debt because of it. And, other reasons too, like living in California and buying things I didn’t need constantly, but we can save that for another day. Anyway…

I posted this photo of my truck “so fresh so clean” on Instagram which I share to my Facebook page. And my uncle made the comment, “must be nice”. And I said, “yeah nice payment too. A lot more than I can afford but it was my dream vehicle. I also have to hustle every month to make the big payment. I also drive a lot and do a lot of road trips so I want to feel safe.” He replied with, “you deserve it.” There is also a cap missing on the drivers side rear wheel that I can’t afford to replace. Damn 22s.

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Thank you Team Cooper Tires for the rubber (Zeon XSTa 305/45R22). Cooper Tires connect you to more than the road. They connect you to life. I am a proud consumer because they are made in the USA. Find a retailers near you today!

No. I don’t deserve anything in life. I don’t deserve this truck. I don’t deserve the car wash. I don’t deserve the water it was used to wash it with. I don’t deserve the hired staff at the car wash who busted their asses in 110 degrees, who were sweating profusely, and getting paid jack shit to wash my truck. Thank you wasn’t enough. And, sorry, I couldn’t tip. I already splurged on the car wash and have other bills to pay and groceries to buy. It has been a rough 2016 since I’ve lost a lot of opportunities and moved out of Cali, but it could be so much worse, and I am not one to ask for pity or complain. I am living my dream(s). Anyway…

That is the problem with our society. We aren’t entitled to ANYTHING in this life. We don’t deserve anything in this life. We don’t “deserve it”.

We need to EARN it. We need to work hard to get the reward. We need to pay for the things we have. We don’t need things handed to us. We don’t deserve the things handed to us. We don’t need things given to us. I am sorry, and yes it’s America, but freedom isn’t free. Nor is anything with a price tag. Or anything that is priceless.

Can you really, honestly, say that you deserve ______________ (it)? Or are you better off saying, and believing, that whatever it is, you need to earn it? Recognize the difference and live, and spend, accordingly.

God bless and safe travels.

XOXO

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