The one reason why you’re doing boudoir all wrong

Boudoir photography and boudoir modeling is art. Boudoir poses are hard. Art is also sex. And being your sexy self is sexy. Boudoir is as beautiful and sexy as you are!

Hello, it’s me Bad to the Blonde – Dani on the Daily! Boudoir photos are hot. Hot. Hot! And you’re doing boudoir all wrong. Wrong. Wrong! Boudoir poses are hard. Awkward. Ouch – back cramp. Now to get on with my boudoir photoshoot “rant” and this isn’t’s not bitching about boudoir this way or that way, it’s why we’re doing boudoir all wrong. Girl, do this for you and not for him!

Do not have a boudoir photoshoot session just because you are getting married and want to give those photos as a special gift to your husband. (Who could become your ex husband – so if that’s the case – it wasn’t worth it LOL!) Or as Christmas gift. Or birthday gift. Or anniversary gift. However, I would gift it as a divorce present. (Man, I am bad! Funny! But bad.)

Put those boudoir photos of yourself all over your bathroom. All over your bedroom. Welcome people in to your home with them. Boudoirs photos make great DIY home decor. You are just as beautify as Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. Brace yourself, my thoughts on boudoir is about to get real. My boudoir experience was just that good.

I am not a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Because she has her shit perfectly (put) together.

This bitch does not.

Let me give you some boudoir posing advice. Do not book a boudoir photoshoot just because you want to give you future ex-boyfriend (I am so funny) a very personal, and special gift. We all have heard the reasoning behind a boudoir shoot and why everyone is doing it – to give a piece of you (to him) that “no one else has”. Well, social media wrecked that since we share more than we should with strangers anyway – so did the #Instamodel career of so many. Well, I’m here to tell you why you should have a boudoir session for you first. Doing boudoir poses in your own way. Not boudoir poses often imitated and always duplicated. Him second, or him not at all, because this should, first and foremost, be all about you.

Calling all the single ladies! Thank you Beyonce. I did this boudoir shoot for myself because I wanted to feel sexy again and comfortable in my own skin. I did a boudoir shoot to prove to me that I am beautiful and sexy just the way I am. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. Or show me how to be sexy through boudoir poses and photography.

You are the reason why you are shooting boudoir. Make sense? Get it now?

I had a ton of fun in this boudoir shoot because that is who I am. I am not supermodel height. I was a gymnast and have thunder thighs so none of those boudoir poses I saved to my Pinterest are going to do me any damn good. Those bitches aren’t me. We are not shaped a like. Our bodies do not move alike.

So guess what? All I could be was me. And it was pretty damn good, sexy boudoir if you ask me. Sexy enough.


Do not go into it thinking that if you pose like a porn star, no offense to porn stars, that you will get photos like the ones you pinned on Pinterest as inspiration. Don’t go into it with that mindset at all. Don’t even go into it with thoughts, at all, for real. Don’t even think. Don’t have a plan. Clear your mind because the real confidence booster (and the point of this whole shoot) is to embrace and reflect on you. Yeah, you! Pretty, young, thing (PYT)!


Yes, I have been a model for almost 10 years but this was a first. I had never done a boudoir photoshoot before. Not for an ex-boyfriend(s). Not for a job (“booking” as we call them in the industry). As a model, I have been in a few calendars, made my own posters and been on several Harley-Davidson and Costco spa mailers…but this is different. Boudoir is very different – but in a good, confident and respectful sort-of way. You just need to clear all expectations, plans, judgements and pretty much everything from your mind. It will turn out amazing. This is about my first boudoir experience with the amazing, adorable and talented Lauren J. Photography (book session now and get your sweet ass to Scottsdale, Arizona). I’ll explain – keep reading.

This photoshoot was about me. I was told not to worry about the final product or who it was for. I wasn’t told or asked about what parts of me he like best, or even what parts of me I like best. The images were all my pieces and parts that together make me up as this whole being. This person that I am – unique and beautiful in my own way(s). I was never asked that or anything like that and those thoughts never came into my mind. I was just in the moment. Each moment. This was my moment. My moment to be free, calm, confident, judgement free, at ease with myself and my thoughts, free and at ease from comparing myself to other women. I was lighthearted and could be as sensual as I would allow myself to be. As free as I would allow myself to be. Baby, I was free.


Boy, I do not feel 21 anymore and this was a reminder but not, at all, in a bad or negative way. My body, mind and spirit have all changed a lot in these past few years. This boudoir shoot reminded me to embrace it. I am aging like a fine wine (in my own mind). I have fine lines and crows feet developed around my eyes from laughing too damn hard. My ass and legs are a lot harder to tone now that I am a little older (and a tan won’t fix it). This photoshoot reminded me that it is okay that my back won’t arch to make my ass look super-sized and that some of these poses on Pinterest just aren’t going to work for my body because her and me are not the same person. It was ok for me to pose in comfortable ways that were natural and not tried.


I wasn’t told to pose and position myself “here, like this” or “do this” or “what about this” or “don’t do that”, and not because I am a model (and knew what I was doing) because I didn’t know what I was doing since I had never done this before. I was told to “just be me”. That’s how great of a photographer, and a person, that Lauren J. Schumacher is.

It was about every little part of me that makes me-me. It wasn’t about her work and how posing my body would help her business. It was about this moment – each photo as a moment. It was about every little part of me that makes me beautiful. It is about every little part of me that makes me different from you. It was about me. In my own body. My own curves. My skin. My own mind. My own emotions. It was my own photoshoot.


It was not for you – even though I want to share these photos with you, all of them, because seeing is believing. I am sharing these photos with you not for attention, likes, or comments. Or a boost of confidence because the photoshoot gave me that. The experience of just being able to be own beautiful and sexy self was a boost of confidence that no one else could give me.

It was for me. Ok, I am single but here me out. Don’t shoot boudoir as a gift for your significant other – that trend was so last year. Decorate your bathroom with these images. Decorate your makeup / dressing area with these photos to remind you that you are confident, unique and beautiful in your own way.


Lauren Schumacher made me feel special. She made me feel like no one else mattered. She made me feel sexy because she made me laugh. His comments about how beautiful the photos are, and what ones he likes best, won’t even come close to everything you get (the reminder of amazing you are, the reminder of how beautiful you are, the reminder how of unique you are, the confidence booster…) from a boudoir shoot. Once again, this is about you, first. My favorite photos from this test boudoir shoot were the ones where I was normal. Normal me. How normal you can you be?


I was told to be myself. Why was that so hard? I was thinking. I came in with a plan. I had my poses and ideas envisioned in my mind (and on my Pinterest board). Let me remind you that the reason why you should have a boudoir shoot is to be you! Let those thoughts go!

This boudoir shoot was a great reminder of how “me” I can be. I was told that every part of me was beautiful and pretty, and the outcome (this) is my reminder (again). Parts of me I didn’t even think about like my shoulders, my chin, my collarbones, the side of my body above the hip (yep, think and embrace that muffin top) – and I model – are beautiful. I was told that it was ok to laugh. I even replied, “for real”, and laugh I did!

black and white boudoirboudoirboudoir

Lauren Schumacher made me feel special and she was behind the camera. She made me feel like no one else mattered. She didn’t let me think. I just moved. She made me feel sexy because she made me laugh. Yes, I laughed in my sexy, scantily clad boudoir shoot (except it was everything but that). She made me feel within the structure of my body. There were no judgements or edits.

My favorite photos from this test boudoir shoot were the ones where I was normal. Normal, happy me. I hope I’ve inspired you to do something for yourself! That beautiful self of yours. And, hell, I won’t judge if after you do – do it for you, that you want to share it with him.

I am so grateful to have had that opportunity to work with @thelaurenstyle (book a session here). Your first boudoir photoshoot session with just you and her skill, technique and personality, I promise that you will feel confident, beautiful and welcome. It might even give you a chance to do some soul searching.

Strut yourself, girl. It’s a judgement free zone.


These images are all credited to the amazing, beautiful and talent Lauren J. Photography.

Be classy, sassy and a bit boudoir bad assy.




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