Hello it’s me, Bad to the Blonde – Dani on the Daily. I’m a bachelorette in a big, hot city. I’m single. I’m adventurous and I’m daring. My last relationship lacked good, honest adventure. It made me lose and almost forget who I was. It changed me into somebody that I was not. Those years with a certain someone, I would pay to get back. I would take it all back. I don’t regret things. I don’t regret taking chances in love. I don’t regret taking risks. But I sure as hell regret losing myself for someone who didn’t deserve me. That regret makes me angry and hungry for adventure.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
I’m back on the single scene in Phoenix and I’m giving myself a second shot at love. Self love. Self love and appreciation. Acceptance. Happiness. I am not a boring person. I am not someone who sits at home. I am not someone who dreams. I am not someone who doesn’t do. I’m a bad ass.
Being a bachelorette is self love
Living well, and selfishly, is an important part of self love. Bad decisions (or good) and certain activities can either help you or hurt you grow in self love. Self love grows by actions. Part of the prescription for self love is forgiving yourself. Another part is living intentionally. However, I think the most important part of self love is practicing good self care. That means fueling you body, mind and spirit, and not relying on or expecting anyone to do that for you. You need to take care of you and your basic needs!
I am a do-er. A go-getter. One who craves moments and not things. My love language according to the book 5 Love Languages is quality time. I like to do things! How I got to that point of not doing things…when this is the type of person I am makes me angry. And hungry to live a life full of adventure.
I spent years acting on what I wanted, and thought I wanted, and not what I needed. I spent years and time I will never get back waiting around. Bored. Quickly losing myself and my zest and passion for life. I spent years not forgiving myself after, and not accepting what I knew that I already knew, and I what I needed to do. I spent years not moving on. I spent years being stuck. I spent miserable years. These words taste real bad. They don’t even sound like me. These types of things do not come out of my loud mouth.
Well, I am back after the final rose that I was hoping to find, and I’m living intentionally. I have made a promise to myself to spend more selfish, quality time doing things that make me, me. Bad to the Blonde is back! Dangerous. Daring. Adventurous and fun! If being an adventurous single and a bad ass is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. It’s bad ass to be single because I am ready to mingle! I really just want to be single.
Bachelorette Hometown Date
With a weekend wide open and my blood not flowing (and my ass not getting any bigger or tighter) – I decided today would be a perfect day to be my adventurous, fun and daring self in the city of Phoenix. There is plenty of adventurous and fun things to do in Phoenix. Well, Scottsdale to be exact because Scottsdale is home to Arizona’s largest indoor climbing gym. I was about to face several of my fears. My biggest ones. Being an adventurous bachelorette, however is not one of them. Or was it?
Bachelorette your fears
I took myself on a climbing date to AZ on the Rocks and I was not expecting to have so much fun alone with strangers. I was also not expecting to feel how I would feel and realize what I was about to realize. There really are a lot of things that you can do alone!
If you want something you’ve never had then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.
I took myself on date for several reasons. This bachelorette needed to get out more. Not in the dating world, but in my own world. My ex basically wrecked me. He was boring. Not my type. I became his boring self and soon (actually quite quickly) became not myself. The past two years (it will be two years post-break up end of October) I have been “trying to find myself again”. I lost my wild heart, gypsy soul. I used to be this fun, adventurous and daring bachelorette who could not sit still. I wanted to race go-carts. I didn’t want a relationship. I wanted to ride motorcycles. I didn’t want to sit at home. I wanted to travel. Go mountain biking. Wakeboard again. Hell, even going hiking would have been an adventure for us. I was extremely unhappy. Brutally unhappy and miserable. Lost. Bored. But I’m not anymore.
Crushing on indoor rock climbing
Now I’m in another big city over 2,000 miles from my roots. This alone doesn’t make my situation of adventuring and exploring, and being a Bachelorette, any easier. My best friend, another bachelorette, also works weekends. We moved here together.
No dating app, Bachelor or Bachelorette episode binge watching was needed. My profile is not up on a dating website. Nor will it be. I submitted myself to the Bachelor and the Bachelorette last year and was a finalist but they didn’t pick me. So I am picking myself to go on dates and to love again. I have the looks and the personality.
Now, I’ve got a crush on indoor rock climbing. I took the approach, pun intended. No belayer or Bachelor needed.
I didn’t know climbing and dating were even a trend until I did some research post-climb. I’m glad I didn’t have a belayer on the ground for several reasons. I talked to myself plenty. If I was on an actual date, I would have had someone to compare myself to and since I didn’t, I could be perfectly happy with my own success. I didn’t question my performance. No social dynamics were to consider. There were no mixed messages – just mixed up feet and hand positions occasionally on the harder walls.
I don’t date. I don’t date random people. I don’t want to date. The whole reason I picked to go indoor rock climbing in Scottsdale as my date by myself was that I thought the opportunity would remind myself of that person I lost. I am fun! Strong! Independent! Scared of heights! The only friction on this date was my lack of balance and footwork.
There are a lot of safe, fun and adventurous things a single person can do in a big city like Phoenix. I don’t like to do things alone but I also don’t have anyone to do things with so that leaves me taking care of #1. I know what I like to do! I know what I want to do! So it was time to just do it!
The good thing about taking a date climbing is that you learn very quickly about how that person reacts to stress, nerves, and being outside of their comfort zone; you find out how they respond to critiques and how much they can trust you.
I had first date awkwardness. With myself. On our rock climbing date! I was nervous and outside my comfort zone, and I used to race snowmobiles and dirt bikes! I think it all worked out that I wasn’t picked to be on the Bachelorette last season after all. I’m also glad I am not on this season of the Bachelor because my friend, Arie the Bachelor, and I never even made it here as friends and we live 30 minutes apart. We also both come from the same racing world filled with adrenaline, passion and love. How ironic.
I can see why indoor rock climbing would be an awkward first date. I highly suggest you take yourself on a date here first before you take someone else. You might surprise yourself. I certainly did! I am not the daring and adventurous type I once was.
Adventures of a bachelorette
I didn’t know anyone there but I did make a few friends. They might have been 10 years old and the owner of AZ on the Rocks, but socializing and fitness do go hand in hand! In my younger years I used to be called “Dangerous Dani” and the boys just couldn’t keep up. Now, I couldn’t keep up with 10 year olds.
I ride motorcycles nowadays. And go cart occasionally, but not enough. The wakeboard I had to have 10 years ago has been collecting dust since the end of my college summers. I’ve taken up golf just to drive something. Yes, I golf for the sole purpose of driving a golf cart (ok, and the bloody Mary after). Would you believe it if I told you that I’ve actually never been indoor rock climbing before this? Or sky diving? That is next.
I was given a chalk bag and chalked up my hands like the old days. I am a gymnast after all. I was a gymnast and I still am – I’m still the same person that I have always been. I just needed a date with some rocks to remind myself of who I am.
There are no rules when you take yourself on a date. There are no do’s and don’ts of dating when you take yourself on a date because no one knows you, better than you.
How many times have you taken yourself on a date? This was the first for me. That really surprises me, too. Scottsdale single ladies, AZ on the Rocks is the place for you! It won’t be an awkward first date. It will teach you though some things about yourself that could help you on a real date if you were to come here. Or anywhere.
Take a leap, single ladies. Sometimes you just need to be your own accessory cord. The best part about indoor rock claiming is that you don’t need a climbing aid. Or your date to be an anchor, pun intended.
Don’t get your nails done before. Don’t even put on makeup. Don’t worry about what shoes will go with our favorite pair of leggings. Do sweat but not because you are nervous like first date jitters. Don’t judge yourself. The rocks don’t care about your best and worst qualities. They won’t judge when you show them! Do laugh at yourself. Do take yourself for a drink after to celebrate any victories you’ve achieved while climbing – big or small.
Those rocks will give you plenty of satisfaction. I now have a climbing crush and a place to be myself. Watch my bachelorette proposal with indoor rock climbing.
AZ on the Rocks
Thank you AZ on the Rocks for this awesome adventure! I was given a free rock climbing lesson and a chance to face my fears. This experience showed me how easy (and fun) single things are to do in Phoenix. Indoor rock climbing is a great place to take yourself on a date (or someone else if you really don’t want to go alone).
This experience reminded me of who I am and what I like to do. No one should take the fun and enjoyment out of your life and that is up to you! This indoor rock climbing date reminded me that loving myself mentally and physically, through self love and physically strength. No can give you that, but you.
Credit: Photos and video provided by Dirt Productions
Be classy, sassy and a little rock climbing, bad assy.